


tadhana

by mypage



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Catholic Guilt, Christmas, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, They Attend Simbang Gabi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mypage/pseuds/mypage
Summary: It’s more of tradition than anything, and Renjun hasn’t been religious for years. But if this is what he wakes up to, even at three o’clock in the morning, with Jaemin too cheerful for his own good, maybe he can deal with sitting through another day of homily.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 86





	tadhana

**Author's Note:**

> tadhana - destiny  
> simbang gabi - a series of 9 night masses leading up to christmas, a catholic tradition  
> putobumbong and bibingka - filipino christmas food
> 
> the setting is based on a lot of philippine christmas traditions!!

He wakes up to Jaemin nosing at his neck, pressing wet kisses on the underside of his jaw. There’s a hand snaking up his shirt, and Jaemin’s low voice is almost a growl against his ear. “Wake up, baby. Time to go talk to God.”

Renjun groans and pushes him away with his elbow, but it does nothing to deter Jaemin from trying to wake him up by peppering his face with kisses. “That’s not very holy of you.” He hears Jaemin purr in his ear, very obviously teasing him so he’ll get out of bed. “You’ll get punished for that.”

With much effort, Renjun opens his eyes, the dim light of their lamps and the light emitting from the opened bathroom door causing his vision to blur a little as he blinks. “What time is it?” He asks Jaemin, finally responding to his boyfriend’s insistence to wake up.

Cheering slightly to himself, Jaemin grins at him and presses a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Three in the morning. Enough time for you to get ready and enough time for us to get to church. Get up, baby. I made you tea. It’s only the second night of  _ simbang gabi,  _ you’re not going to give up now, are you?”

Renjun frowns a little, running a hand through his hair as he throws his head back on his pillows. “It’s so hard to wake up.” He whines. “I might need a little coaxing, actually.”

Jaemin, halfway through getting out of bed, pauses and turns to him with a smile. “Oh, a little coaxing?” He asks, crawling back to him until he can cage him in his arms. “Would that mean just a little kiss or a ten minute makeout session?” 

It’s more of tradition than anything, and Renjun hasn’t been religious for years. But if this is what he wakes up to, even at three o’clock in the morning, with Jaemin too cheerful for his own good, maybe he can deal with sitting through another day of homily. 

By the fifth night, it gets easier.

Jaemin wakes him up as usual, mostly with different and unconventional ways. He doesn’t mind though, because it somehow always ends up with him being kissed senseless even with the sun still asleep. 

Today, Jaemin woke him up with a blowjob⏤he can’t complain, Jaemin is damn good with his mouth and it has truly become some sort of a game where Jaemin will do his best to wake him up like this. Starting his day at 3 o’clock in the morning with his dick in Jaemin’s mouth isn’t so bad. Maybe he’ll start being religious again if each time he wakes up for church ends up like this.

Then, Jaemin makes tea and they have cookies they baked last night. Jaemin promises to buy  _ bibingka  _ and  _ putobumbong  _ later when they get home after the night mass so they can eat it for breakfast before getting ready for work. 

They walk the distance from their apartment building to the nearby church. It’s not a very long walk, but Jaemin still holds his hand as they walk close together. 

He was raised Catholic by a very religious family, but has come to renounce his faith for a multitude of reasons. When he goes to church, he’s only reminded of his parents’ reactions when they told them he has a boyfriend, he’s only reminded of being kicked out of their house at eighteen when he got into an argument with his dad about his sexuality. 

When he goes to church, he’s reminded of being called a sinner, he’s reminded of being called names and slurs. He gets reminded of being unaccepted by the people that should have provided him with the warm and loving environment he needed as he goes through the confusing journey of his sexuality and faith.

At times, it still terrifies him to attend mass⏤but having Jaemin with him makes the experience bearable. Unlike him, Jaemin has continued his faith and was accepted by his loving family members. Renjun tries to understand, tries to see why a religion that deems his identity to be sinful can provide Jaemin with comfort, but fails. 

He still keeps on trying though.

Jaemin holds his hand with his left as he makes the sign of the cross with the other. Renjun lets go of his hand briefly to do the same out of habit, but finds Jaemin's hand again after he says amen. 

Sometimes, when the homily grows dreary and when the sculpted figures of God start swimming in his vision, he can't help but wonder why the world ever made him believe that his kind of love is wrong. 

How can  _ this  _ be wrong when holding Jaemin's hand in the house of God feels like the truest form of love? How can his feelings be sinful when all he feels when he's with Jaemin is love  _ and  _ happiness. Isn't that the kind of God the Church writes Him out to be? Shouldn't their God be a god of love? 

The air is cold and crisp when the breeze enters through the wide windows and he shudders a little. Jaemin notices and smiles at him, tilts his head to the side to check up on him. “Cold?” Jaemin asks him.

Renjun shudders again, the pew underneath him is uncomfortable and the priest’s homily is going over his head. He’s been doing well these days, and he really wants to do this for Jaemin. Maybe he can see this out. 

“A bit.” Renjun says, leaning against Jaemin for warmth. Immediately after hearing his response, Jaemin takes his jacket off and drapes it over Renjun’s shoulders. 

“But you’ll be cold.” He frowns, tries to shrug the jacket away to give it back to him but Jaemin is insistent. 

“I’ll be fine, baby. The mass is almost ending though, do you want to go home or do you want to finish it?” There’s concern laced in Jaemin’s voice. He’s been open to Jaemin about his feelings regarding attending the mass, and Jaemin doesn’t want to push him, but it’s him who keeps pushing himself because he wants to complete it with Jaemin, for Jaemin.

It’s already the fifth night, and they haven’t missed any masses so far. It warms his heart how Jaemin will exchange tradition for him. How Jaemin will choose him over completing the nine traditional masses.

Will he ever deserve to be loved like this?

Renjun smiles at him and puts the jacket back on. “I’ll be fine, baby.” He echoes Jaemin’s words teasingly. “Don’t worry about me.”

Jaemin holds his hand again, brings his knuckles against his lips and nods in understanding. They lock eyes for a moment, before Jaemin turns his attention back to the altar. In Jaemin’s eyes, Renjun finds himself calming down. In Jaemin’s eyes, Renjun finds religion. 

If he burns in the fires of hell because he believed in Jaemin’s love more than the love God has for him, then so be it. To him, there is nothing truer and realer than what he feels for Jaemin, than what Jaemin feels for him. 

The mass proceeds without any mishaps. They sing praises and hold hands praying the Our Father. When the priest asks to give each other peace, he doesn’t hesitate to pull Jaemin into a kiss on the mouth. He doesn’t really care if people are looking, and he chooses to be deaf to the scandalized gasps from the people on the pew next to them.  _ This  _ is his peace, this is where and how he feels the most in peace. 

When the seventh night comes, Renjun asks Jaemin why he enjoys going to Church. 

They’re awake too early, the clock on the nightstand reads it’s 2 o’clock in the morning. Somehow, the good morning kisses turned into him fucking into Jaemin and cumming all over his back. They’re basking in the afterglow of their orgasms now, filling the silence with mindless pillowtalk like they have all the time in the world. 

Jaemin’s resting his head on his bare chest, humming to a song he’s heard once before and can’t seem to get it out of his head now. Renjun’s fingers are drawing butterflies on Jaemin’s shoulders, the soft light of the moon filtering in through their curtains and it casts a light on the junction of Jaemin’s neck and shoulders. It looks absolutely beautiful.

In that silence, in that stillness and bareness of the moment, Renjun asks the question. “Why do you believe in God?”

Jaemin stops humming, looks up at Renjun and blinks at him for a few seconds. The question is serious, and it’s something that they’ve discussed in passing leading up to Jaemin asking Renjun to join him in attending the night mass. But they’ve never fully discussed faith like this, under the moonlight and after sex, it has a different feeling to it.

“You don’t have to answer it, I understand.” Renjun retracts when it takes another minute for Jaemin to respond.

Jaemin kisses under his chest, just where his ribs rest⏤then, he beams. “I don’t know… believing that there’s a God up there that listens to you when you have no one else, that there’s a God somewhere that is looking out for you when everything seems hopeless… is just comforting to me? Of course, I know religion is not for everyone but it comforts me. That’s really it.”

Renjun takes his answer in. If, a few years ago, Jaemin told him that⏤he would have understood easily. But now, it’s such a hard concept to grasp. “Even if the people who teach the religion preach that we’re wrong for being ourselves?” 

Jaemin traces the dips on his chest, his index finger grazing lightly on the depression of his sternum. “I’m not religious because of the people. There are people who use their religion to hate on others. But I don’t think God is like that. I don’t really care what people think God is, I know that he is loving. I’m religious because of God.” There’s a pause, another kiss to his ribcage, then another just above his belly button. “Plus, I talk to God about you.”

“Yeah?” Renjun asks, amused. His fingers card gently through Jaemin’s hair, pushing it away from his face. Like this, Renjun thinks that nothing can ever look holier than Jaemin. “And what did you tell God?”

“Before you came into my life, I prayed to Him for you. And you came barging into my life like a literal answered prayer. Does it sound crazy? I don’t know. You make me so happy and I just pray every night that you’re kept safe. That’s all I ever talk about to God.” Jaemin shifts a little, and this time the moonlight casts on his cheekbones. There’s a faint blush there, and he can feel Jaemin’s palms heat up as he runs it up and down the side of his torso. Talking about this is making him bashful, and it’s so  _ real.  _

“It’s not crazy talk.” Renjun says as he sits up a little. Jaemin follows him, dragging himself up so that he’s sitting next to Renjun this time. “It’s your belief, and I respect it. I think it’s kind of sweet actually, you really stay up at night praying to God for me? And I came into your life like destiny?”

Jaemin laughs, all of his teeth on display and Renjun just wants to kiss him. “Mhm, I also pray that you get me a PS5 this Christmas.”

Renjun frowns, thinks of the wrapped box under their tree. There’s no way Jaemin could have figured out his gift, right? He tried to be so inconspicuous. Then again, it’s the one thing that Jaemin has wanted all year. “I’m not getting you a PS5.” He lies terribly.

Jaemin’s grin grows even wider, then steals a kiss from him before he gets out of bed, butt naked. “Sure, I’ll find out soon anyway. I’m gonna go shower, or do you want to join me?” 

He flips him off with a laugh, tugging the blanket over himself and turning away from Jaemin. “I’m gonna nap, wake me up when you’re done showering.”

“Alright baby, don’t kill me when I wake you up, though.”

He feels sleep tug him back slowly. “I won’t, go shower.”

Jaemin runs back to bed, pressing a brief kiss to his temple before he jogs to the shower. Renjun smiles to himself, hearing the shower run and the warmth of their sheets lulling him back to sleep.

Maybe he’ll never fully understand Jaemin’s faith, but he’ll keep trying. Their love is stronger than their differences, and that’s the most important thing. They adjust and compromise, they make it work. 

Perhaps there’s something out there, a force that makes sure that him and Jaemin are together. Maybe it’s the universe, or maybe it’s God, but whatever it is⏤he thanks it for keeping them together through it all. 

(As he falls asleep, Renjun concludes one thing⏤it’s love that keeps them together.)

On the ninth night, Renjun asks Jaemin what he wishes for.

After completing all nine masses, it’s believed that your wish on the last night will be granted by God. He doesn’t know if it’s real, or if it even means anything other than some kind of a placebo effect, but he watches as Jaemin clasps his hands together and prays. 

He makes a silent wish under his breath too. He may not be religious, but he completed the nine nights, didn’t he? He’s entitled to his own wish too.

When he was younger, Renjun believed in birthday candles and shooting stars. He believed that stray eyelashes will grant you wishes when you blow them away between your thumb and index finger. There are different kinds of wish-giving beliefs, but when he was younger, Renjun would always use those wishes on himself. He wished to be tall, wished for good grades, wished to be successful, wished to find someone that will love him as much as he loves them. 

Now though, he’s older and he is loved and has loved. The wish he makes isn’t for him anymore. The wish he makes is for Jaemin, for God that Jaemin believes in to keep him safe through whatever, to give him good health so that he may be able to be with him for a long time, to always bless him in whatever obstacle work may give him. He may not be religious, but he’ll pray to Jaemin’s God if it means keeping him safe. 

When the mass is over and they begin their walk back home, Renjun asks him the question lightheartedly. “What did you wish for?”

Jaemin looks at him, swinging their hands together as they walk away from the crowds of church-goers. He can smell the scent of  _ putobumbong  _ and  _ bibingka  _ from the nearby stalls just outside the church premises and he starts craving for one so he tugs Jaemin to the direction of the stalls. 

“What did I wish for?” Jaemin repeats the question as Renjun asks the vendor for two orders of  _ putobumbong  _ and  _ bibingka.  _

Renjun nods, taking bills out of his wallet to pay for their food. “I’m curious. I can tell you my wish too if you want.”

“You made a wish too?” Jaemin asks, looping his arm around his waist to keep him close as more people flock to the stall to buy the Christmas delicacy.

“Of course!” He huffs. “I completed the nine nights, I have a wish too, don’t I?”

Jaemin shrugs and they watch as their  _ putobumbong  _ gets served on a banana leaf, followed by their  _ bibingka,  _ topped with salted egg. Renjun’s mouth is watering already at the sight. “I tell you mine and if you tell me yours first?” 

Renjun raises a brow at the deal, pays for their food and accepts the bags of food with a small  _ thank you _ and a  _ merry christmas  _ to celebrate the season. They start to walk away from the stall hand in hand, the cold December air blowing on their faces as they walk. It’s really Christmas now, the streets are bright with flickering lights and star-shaped lanterns called  _ parol  _ line the streets. Outside the church, there’s a life-sized display of the nativity scene with the northern star lighting up the scene. 

It’s picturesque, straight out of a postcard and for the first time in many years, Renjun finally feels happy on a Christmas day. So he answers Jaemin, unabashed.

“I wished that you stay healthy, and that God lets you be with me for a long time.” He gives the abridged version of his prayer, not wanting to fully divulge the details while they’re out in public. Maybe later he’ll tell Jaemin, narrate his prayer to him and ask if that’s how you ask God for something after not being religious for so long. He wonders if God still listens to him, but Jaemin is so good⏤and all his prayers are for Jaemin. If he isn’t one to be saved, then at least it’s Jaemin who deserves to be saved, whose prayers deserve to be answered. 

Jaemin turns to him slowly, grinning from ear to ear now as he takes the bag of food away from him. “That’s cheesy, but sweet.”

“You like it, right? That’s a good prayer, isn’t it?” He asks for validation, half-joking and half-serious. 

“It’s perfect, babe.” Jaemin assures him. “Funny how we made the same wish, really.” 

He raises his brow, a part of him expected it already considering what Jaemin told him a few days before. But having Jaemin tell it to him explicitly is different. “Like, exactly the same?”

“Not really. I just wished that I could make you happy for a long time.” Jaemin states outright, breaking their eye contact as he continues to walk the way toward their apartment.

But Renjun isn’t going to let him get away that easily. He tugs on his arm, hugging it close to his chest and it effectively stops Jaemin from running away. “Why are you running away? That’s a cute as fuck wish. You didn’t have to wait nine nights for that to come true, babe. You’re always making me happy.”

Jaemin turns to face him, holding their food away at a safe distance as Renjun pulls him in a side hug. “And you’re always making me happy too, I just wanted to make sure that I can do it for a long time, had to involve the big G, you know?”

He can’t even help the smile on his face even if he tried. “You’re adorable, I want to kiss you.”

Of course, that isn’t a warning to Jaemin and instead, it comes to his ears as a treat. “Really? Then why don’t you kiss me under the…” He looks up slowly, laughs when he sees what’s right above them before he looks back down at Renjun, “pink  _ parol…  _ I mean… if you really want to kiss me⏤“

He cuts Jaemin off with a kiss, in front of the church, in front of hundreds of people, under the  _ parol _ and on Christmas eve. Nothing feels more right than this.

He doesn’t know what the future holds, but for as long as he can, he’ll hold on to the love that he has⏤so long as Jaemin doesn’t let go too. 

On Christmas morning, it’s Jaemin who wakes him up like usual.

There’s a hand under his shirt, kisses to the underside of his jaw and he blinks his eyes open to a Jaemin who’s dressed in an ugly Christmas sweater (which he begrudgingly remembers that he agreed to match with him). Faintly, he can hear the song  _ Christmas In Our Hearts  _ playing from their speakers in the living room. He can smell reheated food from last night’s  _ Noche Buena _ too, and Jaemin looks like he’s been awake for hours.

“Good morning, baby. Merry Christmas.” Jaemin greets, smiling against his cheek as he presses a kiss there. “Time to open the gifts!” 

Renjun turns around, sneaking an attack on Jaemin and wrapping his arms and limbs around him. Jaemin laughs, losing all control of his limbs as Renjun pulls him flush against him. “Merry Christmas, baby.” He says against Jaemin’s neck, kissing him there. “Don’t I get a Christmas kiss?”

Later, they’ll have a Christmas dinner with Jaemin’s family. Maybe he’ll give his parents a call but he isn’t sure about that yet. They didn’t pick up last year so he isn’t betting on them answering this year too. This morning is reserved for them though, tearing open the gifts under their tree and maybe they’ll even watch Christmas movies before getting ready for dinner. 

“Of course you do.” Jaemin says, sitting up and dragging Renjun with him. Somehow, Renjun ends up on Jaemin’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck as Jaemin puts his hands on his waist. “It’s Christmas, you can have whatever you want.” 

“Fair enough.” Renjun says, then, Jaemin leans forward to close the gap between them.

Jaemin kisses him slow and steady, hands running up and down his sides as Renjun inches his hips forward closer to him. Renjun kisses him back, eagerly swiping his tongue along his bottom lip to urge Jaemin to part his lips for him. Obediently, Jaemin does so without much fight. 

He can taste the peppermint candy on his tongue, and knows that he’s been snacking on the candy canes they bought that Jaemin promised to be  _ just  _ for decorative purposes. It makes him giggle, smile against the kiss as he imagines Jaemin suckling on the candy while he reheats the food from last night’s feast.

“Why are you laughing?” Jaemin asks when he pulls away, Renjun has broken the kiss from giggling too much. Why is he so giggly in the morning over some damn candy canes? He doesn’t really understand, but it’s Christmas, so he lets himself be  _ this  _ giggly over nothing. 

He smiles at Jaemin, cupping his cheeks and then squeezes them together. He pecks Jaemin’s puckered lips, and his boyfriend’s confused expression is nothing short of entertaining. “What did I tell you about the candy canes? I can practically taste them on your mouth.”

Cheekily, Jaemin grins and pinches at his waist. “Oops? I got hungry while reheating the food so…” 

“Alright.” Renjun climbs out of Jaemin’s lap, gets on his feet and stretches his limbs. “Let me shower and get into that sweater. I’ll join you in the living room in a few, okay?”

Jaemin pouts at the loss of contact, but nods anyway. “Okay, I’ll be there.” He gets up from bed, kisses Renjun one last time before he disappears out into their living room.

Renjun goes into the shower soon after, washing up and spending those few minutes by himself.

It feels like a good day, and he isn’t sure if it’s because it’s Christmas or if it’s because of Jaemin’s antics so early in the morning. But he lets himself have a good day. Maybe it’s the first day of Jaemin’s wish coming true, but even without the wish granted, Jaemin has always made him so happy. 

He feels like a new person when he steps out of their room, hair still damp and the Christmas sweater scratching at his skin. His sweats are too long on him so it drags on the floor as he walks, looking around for Jaemin. He spots Jaemin sitting on the floor next to their Christmas tree, going through the gifts under it and the plates of food he has prepared on the coffee table don’t go unnoticed either. 

Their living room has been decorated with Christmas ornaments since September. Their Christmas tree has been up since November and their walls have fairy lights hanging off it. Stockings are also placed all over their television set. It’s a bit overboard, but Renjun is not going to lie and say he didn’t enjoy decorating their apartment with Jaemin. 

“You’re starting without me?” Renjun asks, grabbing a piece of bread from the coffee table and then stuffing it in his mouth. Jaemin looks like a deer in headlights, eyes wide when Renjun catches him sifting through the gifts. 

He shakes his head, hands Renjun his cup of tea and grins. “Never, I just wanted to arrange them neatly, see? I’d never open them without you, babe.” 

Renjun chews the bread and sips his tea, placing the cup back down before he sits across Jaemin. “Okay, let’s start from the smallest ones first?” 

Without missing a beat, Jaemin agrees to it and grabs his gift for Renjun. “Here, open it.” He says, shoving the gift excitedly into Renjun’s hand.

Renjun takes it with a smile, the box is rectangular with a ribbon to seal it. It’s uniformly wrapped like the rest of the gifts. They didn’t really plan to get each other multiple gifts this year, but each time he goes shopping he just ends up seeing something and then thinking of Jaemin. It goes both ways, with Jaemin seeming to come home every day with a paper bag in hand telling Renjun that the contents are a secret so he can’t look.

“You can guess.” Jaemin urges. “You’ve been meaning to get one for ages.”

Renjun raises a brow. “A lint roller?” He asks jokingly, knowing full well that it can’t fit in the box. He tears the wrapper open, trying to read Jaemin’s expression. 

The wrapper falls to the floor, and it reveals an apple watch box from Jaemin. He laughs, throwing his head back. He remembers mentioning one time in passing about getting a smart watch⏤he didn’t think Jaemin will remember it even after so many months.

“How do you remember this?” He asks, grabbing Jaemin by the back of his neck to give him a kiss. “I literally remember mentioning it just once.”

Jaemin returns the kiss with a pleased hum, leaning forward once more for another peck. “I just do.” He says, raising a brow. “Do you like it?”

“Of course!” He says, opening the box and marveling at the gadget. “Thank you. I appreciate this, I’ll wear it a lot.” To prove that true, he clasps the watch around his wrist even without booting it up.

Jaemin laughs, holding his wrist. “You have to set it up first before you wear it.” 

“No need, it looks pretty like this, right? I’ll do it later. Here, open my gift.” He hands Jaemin the smallest box from the pile. It’s a designer necktie that he bought during an overseas business trip. Jaemin had been texting him about wanting more neckties, so during the visit to the mall on that business trip, Renjun grabs one for Jaemin. 

Gifts are their love language too, especially with Jaemin. He likes giving the people he loves gifts no matter the value, and he knows that even if he doesn’t say it, he likes receiving gifts too. Jaemin speaks a lot of love languages, and Renjun, even if they’ve been together for a long time, is still trying to learn how to speak them all. 

“Wah,” Jaemin grins, taking the necktie out of its box and putting it around and over his head, “how’d you know I wanted a necktie? All my best ones have been ruined from you tying me up⏤” 

“Jaemin! It’s Christmas, why would you say that?” He chides, gasping in surprise as he makes a move to take the necktie off of him. Of course, he’s not holy⏤he’s not at all innocent and he has had his tongue buried in places it shouldn't be in but it's Christmas morning, and he just expected it to be wholesome for the tradition of it all. 

But, if Jaemin wants the day to start like that—he's not complaining at all. 

"I'm sorry." Jaemin grins, moving to his knees to take the necktie away from Renjun and place it back in its box. "I'll behave. You're right, we should be wholesome. Can't help it though, you look really hot in ugly Christmas sweaters." 

Renjun fights the urge to roll his eyes, instead shakes his head and takes a bite of a piece of leftover chicken before taking another gift. Sure, Jaemin can behave from now on. But all he's thinking about now is Jaemin splayed on the living room floor, hands above his head and begging to be fucked. 

Yeah, Christmas morning is going to be good. 

They tear through the rest of the gifts, some consisted of shoes, bags, clothes and even downright ridiculous ones like the set of pots and pans that he got for Jaemin or the picture frame that Jaemin thought would be funny as a joke but Renjun actually needed to frame something. They end up laughing about it for two minutes, falling over each other. 

They're down to the last gift, a box that's suspiciously the same size as a PS5 and he can feel Jaemin buzzing in his excitement at the sight. "I really feel like this is a PS5, if it's not, fuck me." 

Renjun snorts, throws his head back in laughter as he watches Jaemin rip the wrappers apart. "And if it's a PS5, I'm not saying it  _ is,  _ but what would you do then?" 

“Fuck me too then.” Jaemin says bluntly, and Renjun nods, biting the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from smiling too hard and giving it away before Jaemin can even see the content of the gift. 

The gift unravels in Jaemin’s excited fingers, and Renjun keeps his eyes on him as his eyes light up at what he sees. Jaemin truly looks like a kid on Christmas morning getting the toy he wanted the most from the mall, he looks like his letters from Santa and his prayers to God before he goes to bed are all answered by this one gift. 

Jaemin is laughing, smiling from ear to ear when he sees that it  _ is  _ indeed a PS5. He bows his head in laughter, unable to control it and Renjun catches himself being infected with Jaemin’s joy.

It’s Jaemin who wished that he can always make Renjun happy to God, but like this, exactly just like this⏤he wants to make Jaemin happy for a long time. He wants Jaemin to keep that smile on his face and he’s going to do everything in his power to keep it there. 

“What?” Renjun asks teasingly, scooting forward to put the mess of gift wrappers away, coaxing Jaemin to place the box down so he can see too. “What’s the gift? Why are you laughing?”

“Renjun, you are such a bad liar.” Jaemin puts the PS5 box down, turning to Renjun with his grin never falling. “I expected this because you’re so  _ obvious,  _ but it still surprised me.” 

He chuckles, lunges forward and kisses Jaemin on the lips, a quick peck. “You were guessing it so easily and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Did you like it?” 

“What do you mean? I fucking loved it.” Jaemin crawls over to him on all fours, his hands on either side of his hips as he kisses him all over his face. Renjun cradles Jaemin’s chin with his fingers, tilting his head up as he returns the kiss. 

Jaemin smiles into the kiss and crawls forward, which then pushes Renjun to lay on his back on the carpeted floor. It’s a bit uncomfortable to be lying down like this, but Jaemin’s mouth on him is a distraction enough. Jaemin braces his arms on either side of Renjun’s head, legs straddling his hips as he licks along his bottom lip. 

Renjun wraps his arms around Jaemin’s neck like he had done earlier, parting his lips to welcome Jaemin’s intrusion. Jaemin’s tongue in his mouth feels heavenly, and when he sucks on his tongue, Renjun can’t help the moan he lets out and the way his hips buck up just slightly on instinct. 

While the shift in mood and atmosphere is surprising, he can’t say that he doesn’t like it. The image of Jaemin with his hands above his head and writhing in pleasure on the floor is back in his brain, front and center right before his closed eyes, and with the way Jaemin is kissing him and grinding his hips down against his own⏤it’s almost easy for his dick to start twitching in his sweatpants.

Merry  _ fucking  _ Christmas, indeed.

Jaemin pulls away from his lips, kissing down his jaw and then sucking on the skin on his neck. Renjun screws his eyes shut, hands sliding down Jaemin’s sides and up under his sweatshirt. “Jaemin,” he gasps, swallowing hard as Jaemin licks a stripe up his neck, continues to kiss even as Renjun speaks.

“Really, here, on the floor? On a Christmas morning?” He asks, cold hands warming up from the heat of Jaemin’s skin. If he remembers correctly, it’s the first time since moving in together that they’re having sex on a Christmas morning. He wonders why they hadn’t done this before. Nothing can be a better gift than this.

His boyfriend giggles, teeth nipping on the skin on his neck. His voice reverberates all over him when he speaks. “Unless you don’t want to? I kind of have another gift for you, actually.” 

“No, no. I want it, I want  _ you,  _ baby.” Renjun assures him, a hand coming to cup his cheek. If the way his dick is imprinting on his sweats is not enough indication of how much he wants Jaemin, then he’s going to make sure that Jaemin hears it loud and clear instead. 

Jaemin pulls away from his neck, cheeks flushed and lips slick with spit from the way he has been ravishing Renjun’s neck. If it bruises, he’ll just deal with it later for the family dinner. “Can you close your eyes? I have to get the gift out for you.”

Renjun slides up from where Jaemin is caging him, gives him one last kiss before he sits up properly and closes his eyes as requested. Jaemin pats his head, and he hears scuffling around for a few moments which he assumes is Jaemin cleaning up the mess of gifts and wrappers around them to give them space for what they’re about to do. Then, he hears the patter of Jaemin’s footsteps away from him. He almost wants to open his eyes to peek, but he knows that Jaemin like surprises⏤so he remains seated.

Sex on the floor isn’t really something that they’ve done a lot considering how they bought a king-sized bed for that matter, but now with his eyes closed and anticipation building in his stomach, he can imagine Jaemin naked and begging for him underneath all their Christmas decorations.

It’s a fucking sight to behold, and he’s so excited for it.

He hears footsteps once more, nearer to him this time and the sound of fabric being moved around in front of him. Jaemin groans, and he hears a wet squelching sound that’s so familiar not only to his ears⏤but to his cock too. He’s fucking sweating in this sweater. 

“Okay,” Jaemin breathes out, labored. “You can open your eyes now.”

When he opens his eyes, his stomach twists and his toes curl at the sight before him. Jaemin is on all fours, half-naked⏤he left the sweater on but removed everything else. His ass is up in the air, the pink butt plug greeting him with a glimmer. He has placed a towel underneath him and he can see the bottle of lube sitting next to him.

“Baby,” Renjun gasps, his hand reaching out to caress Jaemin’s ass, thumb pressing on the pretty plug. The slight pressure makes Jaemin groan, sliding forward on his elbows on the floor. “Fuck, this is the best, you’re the best.”

Jaemin chuckles, breathing heavy. “I’ve been holding it in all morning.” He confesses, and Renjun makes a quick work of his own sweatpants, kicking them off of him and leaving himself to his boxers. “Do you like it?”

To prove his point, Renjun plants a kiss to his ass cheek, cradling the soft muscle there. “Love it, love you.” He praises, then kisses the small of Jaemin’s back, pushing up his sweater a little to reveal the slope of his back. 

“I’ll take the plug out and replace it with my fingers, yeah? Stretch you out real good for me.” Renjun whispers against his skin, holding on the head of the plug and wriggles it a little, pulling it out of him inch by inch.

Jaemin nods, arches his back and fists the towel under him. Carefully, Renjun takes the plug out of Jaemin and marvels at the way his hole gapes at him, inviting⏤and Renjun wants nothing more than to fuck him into the next year. 

But it’s a gift, Jaemin prepared this as a gift and he wants to be appreciative of it, wants to be appreciative of Jaemin. He wants to savor the moment.

Renjun places the plug away, takes the bottle of lube and pours it out on his fingers and circles Jaemin’s rim with them. Jaemin has already lubed up, has prepped himself and he’s stretched out enough for Renjun to just ram into him but Renjun has always been a tease. Even though it’s Christmas, he’s not just going to give it to him so easily.

After all, this is what Jaemin wanted and he’s going to make him beg for it.

“You good, baby?” He asks, his other hand coming under Jaemin’s stomach to stroke his cock. Jaemin’s elbows give in a little, and Renjun takes that chance to plunge two fingers inside him.

Jaemin moans as Renjun continues to stroke his length, fingers curling expertly inside of him. “More, please.” Jaemin pants his hips pushing back against Renjun’s fingers, fucking himself on them.

Renjun’s cock throbs heavily in his boxers, leaking through the fabric as he watches his fingers disappear without restraint inside Jaemin. “Give me a second.” He responds, then slides a third finger into Jaemin which also slides in with each with how stretched and lubricated Jaemin is. It’s taking all of his self-restraint to not fuck him senseless but he wants to prolong the pleasure for as long as possible.

“Ah,” Jaemin grunts, his head buried in his arms. He’s flushed all over, a thin sheen of sweat forming over his back. He looks absolutely beautiful. “Want your cock, baby.” 

“You’ll get it soon, baby.” Renjun responds, moving his fingers inside of Jaemin, feeling the warm heat envelope him. He knows it’s going to feel amazing when his cock replaces his fingers. “Let me enjoy my gift first, yeah?” 

Jaemin nods again. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll be good.” 

He places another kiss on the backside of Jaemin’s thigh, then takes his fingers out and parts his cheeks with both hands. Jaemin’s ass glistens, clenching and unclenching on nothing and Renjun’s mouth waters at the sight. Renjun knows that Jaemin must be tired now from holding himself up, so he doesn’t wait any further and fucks Jaemin with his tongue.

“Renjun!” Jaemin cries out like a prayer, his elbows giving up on him so Renjun grabs him by the hips to keep him up, his tongue thrusting in and out of his hole, then laying flat against it. He pulls away only to dribble spit all over it, before diving back in to relish in the taste of Jaemin.

Their living room fills with the sounds of Jaemin moaning, calling out Renjun’s name with every thrust of his tongue. With every sound that Jaemin makes, it shoots right through Renjun’s spine. The want and desire in his stomach only grow stronger. He doesn’t know if they can both last long like this. 

He pulls away, squeezing Jaemin’s ass cheek and licking his lips. “Turn over, baby. I wanna see you while I make love to you.” He orders, massaging Jaemin’s hips and guiding him as he turns over on his back. Jaemin’s face is red, and he can see droplets of tears hanging off his long eyelashes. He looks absolutely fucked out and to Renjun, this is the most beautiful view the world can ever offer.

“Hi baby,” he greets him with a smile, parting Jaemin’s legs for him and hooking them around his waists. Jaemin smiles at him, a hand coming to grab at him. Renjun meets him in between, twines their fingers together and then dips low to give him a searing kiss.

They kiss for a while, his hands roaming up his sweater until it has bunched up around his armpits. Jaemin’s cock curls prettily against his stomach, and Renjun wants to make him cum until it’s all he feels. 

“Let’s get this off you, yeah?” Renjun asks and Jaemin puts his hands up for Renjun to take it off him. Renjun carefully pulls it off of Jaemin, tosses it to the couch and he grabs one of the throw pillows to put it under Jaemin’s head. 

“Merry christmas,” Jaemin greets croakily when Renjun gets back to him. Renjun can only smile, his heart swelling with so much love even though Jaemin looks absolutely lustful. The Christmas lights wrapped around their tree reflect on the sheen of sweat on Jaemin’s chest, glistening against his skin. He kisses Jaemin again, once on his lips, then travels down his collar bone and the dip on his sternum. 

“Merry christmas, love.” Renjun breathes out, kissing under his nipple where his heart beats. “Gonna fuck you, now. You good with that?” 

“Of course, yes! Fuck, just give it to me.” Jaemin wriggles under him, hands on his shoulders and they squeeze there. 

Renjun laughs, pulling the sweater off him too and tossing it to the couch. He pulls his boxers down to his knees, enough for his cock to spring out. He grabs the lube, spreads a generous amount on his palm then strokes himself. He shudders at the relief, eyes screwing shut and his other hand grabbing a handful of Jaemin’s thigh. 

Jaemin grunts, and Renjun opens his eyes to Jaemin watching as he pumps himself. Jaemin hooks his arm under his thigh, knee to his chest, presenting himself to Renjun.

“Love you.” Renjun mutters, locking eyes with Jaemin as he scoots forward, the tip of his cock pressing against Jaemin’s gaping hole. 

“Love you too. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” Jaemin manages to get out as he holds himself open for Renjun. His face is scrunched up in effort and in pleasure, as inch by inch, Renjun thrusts into him. 

It doesn’t take much nor it doesn’t take long before Renjun bottoms out. He falls forward when he has closed all space between them. His arms are on either side of Jaemin’s head and Jaemin appreciates the proximity. He doesn’t move yet, lets Jaemin wrap his legs around his waist until he pulls him impossibly flush against him.

Jaemin snakes his arms around his neck, trying to kiss him so Renjun only drives deeper into Jaemin to meet him in a kiss. “I love you.” Jaemin repeats again when they part. “You can move now, please. And… cum in me, yeah?”

“Jesus,” Renjun almost collapses at Jaemin’s words, and it makes Jaemin laugh heartily. He can feel each vibration from where their bodies are connected. “Okay, will keep that in mind.”

As he is told, Renjun moves in long and slow thrusts at first. Each drag of his cock inside Jaemin shoots electricity up his spine, all of his blood rushing south. He tries not to close his eyes, wants to watch as Jaemin’s face scrunch up in pleasure as he impales him with his dick. 

Renjun fails though, and buries his face in the crook of Jaemin’s neck instead, hips thrusting in and out of him shallowly. He grinds into him, circling his hips before he withdraws and slams back inside. Jaemin’s torso lifts off the floor, and Renjun holds him, sucking on the skin on his collarbone⏤enough to leave a mark.

They have a lot of sex, and that’s truly one of the many joys in Renjun’s life since being in arelationship with Jaemin. Still, each time feels new⏤each time feels like the first and Renjun is still not used to the feeling of Jaemin’s heat encompassing him all over.

“You’re so good to me,” Jaemin mumbles, mindlessly now because Renjun is aware that he’s so fucked out. Each time he thrusts into him, Jaemin’s cock brushes against his stomach and it leaves Jaemin down to a shuddering mess.

“Of course.” Renjun says. They’re not really much for dirty talk, prefers to laugh together when they’re having sex and prefers teasing each other when they do it, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hot. “You let me fuck you on a Christmas morning, of course I’m good to you. I’ve never had a good fuck as a Christmas gift.”

Jaemin tries to laugh but fails, because Renjun rams into him again. Faster this time, Renjun continues his pace⏤the peak of his orgasm is so near and Renjun is chasing it. Jaemin is all sort of magical, not only when it comes to bed but when it comes to loving him. When he had been younger, Renjun never thought that he’ll have a love like this⏤he’s grown up to learn that he will never have a love this good but when he looks at Jaemin, he regrets that he ever doubted it. 

Nothing in this world is more right than this, he’s right where he is supposed to be in life and everything he experienced before this is worth it. Jaemin makes all the bad and all the pain in the world worth it. He makes all the compromise and all the adjustment worth it. He makes wanting to stay worth it. 

“Ah,” Jaemin gasps again, reaching between them to tug on his cock but Renjun pries his hand away, replacing it with his own so Jaemin is left to grasp at the small throw pillow underneath his head.

“Close,” Jaemin follows up, head pressed against the pillow as Renjun fucks relentlessly into him and strokes his cock to completion. Renjun is close too, so he speeds up, kissing along the line of Jaemin’s neck, muttering praises into his skin that will tattoo themselves on his body even after they’re done. 

Their room doesn’t only fill with moans this time, it’s filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin. It reeks of sex and lust, but more importantly⏤the atmosphere is filled with nothing but love.

“I’m close too, can you cum first for me, baby?” Renjun coos in his ear, and a particular thrust punches a loud moan out of Jaemin’s chest. Renjun does it again and again as Jaemin nods furiously⏤at a loss for words now, feels too good to even comprehend anything at all. 

It doesn’t take much, just Renjun pumping on his dick and driving his cock into him that drives Jaemin to completion. His cum splutters all over his chest, and some gets on Renjun’s stomach and hands. It’s fucking messy, but it’s just how they like it⏤all over each other, hard to get rid of.

“God,” Jaemin whines, hands finding purchase on Renjun’s back as Renjun fucks into him, chasing his own high⏤he wants to cum inside Jaemin, just like he wanted. “Faster, Junnie. Please. Cum in me, I need you.” Even exhausted from his own orgasm, Jaemin  _ still  _ manages to beg him like this. It’s truly spectacular.

He pulls away from Jaemin to ram into him, hands grasping at his hips as he drives continuously into him. Looking at Jaemin like this, fucked out with cum all over his chest and stomach, it’s all Renjun needs to release inside Jaemin. The sound he lets out when he sees stars is lewd and almost embarrassing, but it’s Jaemin, and he knows that Jaemin enjoys him being lewd and loud. 

“Fuck,” Renjun cries out, hips stuttering as his load continues to spill inside Jaemin. Jaemin is holding both of his legs up with arms hooked underneath them, letting Renjun do as he please, watching intently as Renjun reaches his high and falls down from it.

His body gives out from the exertion, falling forward to hug Jaemin. Jaemin giggles, pulls him closer by his legs so that they’re hugging chest to chest, still connected through Renjun’s dick and Jaemin’s ass. The euphoria washes over them, a tingling sensation seems to be shared between them and Renjun revels in it.

“Wow,” Jaemin deadpans in his ear, and Renjun hits him on the arm playfully. “You know, I thank God for giving you the best dick ever.”

Renjun laughs, pinches Jaemin on the side and buries his face in the crook of his neck again. They’re going to have to wash this towel and shower again. But for now, they don’t worry about that. For now, they spend the first hours of their Christmas morning basking in each other’s presence⏤like they have forever to spend together. 

Of course, forever is unattainable, but Renjun wants to be there with Jaemin for as long as he is alive, for as long as Jaemin loves him too. 

“You’re going to hell for that, Jaemin.” He comments dryly, tired from their early morning activity. If he closes his eyes, he might just fall asleep balls deep inside Jaemin. 

Jaemin hums for a second, fingers grazing along his side in a comforting pattern. “As long as I’m with you, heaven is anywhere.”

It’s so cheesy, so corny, it’s a line that’s been used multiple times before and he should be tired of that. But he isn’t, the line is so painfully characteristic of Jaemin⏤the line tells him of Jaemin’s devotion to him and that’s something that he won’t get tired of.

Instead of replying with words, Renjun kisses him instead. He kisses him until they’re tired, kisses him until the cum dries on their bodies and until they’re both grossed out by the feeling. He kisses him even in the shower, kisses him as they pick out their clothes for dinner and he doesn’t stop kissing him all day.

It’s indeed the season of love and the season of giving, and for Jaemin, he’s willing to give in and give him anything. That’s the concept of love for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas everyone!!! have a good day!! im so sorry @g0d


End file.
